Miss Peeps: Yes, Mr. Trump, I heard what Hillary said about your "deplorable" supporters. And I do understand you wouldn't ask them to dinner and you don't want to rub elbows with them at the corner bar. In fact, you are afraid to shake hands with them without a bottle of hand sanitizer within reach. I'll work it out.
Howie Destin: We need to reply.
Miss Peeps: Mr. Trump is really hurt because the reference cuts to the core of his prospective voters. He might not be quite like them but they like him and they frequent his casinos and might get into one of his hotels if they win some drawing. His golf courses are out of bounds, if you know what I mean.
Howie Destin: But we can make him look like a man of the little people--the forgotten masses of white Americans who toiled to build this country and who were thrown under the bus by Washington.
Miss Peeps: Wow, it sounds like you really believe that.
Howie Destin: For the money I'm getting paid, I'd believe Hillary Clinton is an alien put on earth to destroy the world.
Miss Peeps: Oh I like that one. We might use it in late October. I'm sure we can bribe a scientist to prove it. But back to the present situation. Even though most of those who Hillary dissed don't know what the word she used means, I see a great opening. We'll get one of those Duck Dynasty clan interviewed and make sure his says the following:
"I ain't no ways what Lyin' Hillary done gone and said. I is a true American like Mr. Trump who done gived jobs to a whole bunch of my friends. Most of that woman candidate's supporters ain't deplorable but sure is deportable. Damn right they is. I had one who used to bait my hook with night crawlers but got uppity and wanted me to pay him. These here swamplands have secrets and he's now one of them."
Howie Destin: That's so cool. We can have Fox do an in-depth interview with the guy showing his down-home dwelling and family. Maybe Trump could fly in for a quick appearance of support.
Miss Peeps: Possibly a flyover during which he could drop some "Make America Great Again" caps, but don't expect any close encounters. Trump isn't going to get his Ferragamos all muddied up for that geazer. I mean if he actually landed, he might get a Zika bite.
Howie Destin: That would screw things up. Still, in another way, we could say Trump got bitten by a mosquito that had the Zika strain, but the mosquito died on contact with the Don and his All-American blood repelled the virus like he would ISIS or we could link Zika to the immigrant issue. When Trump is elected he'll build a giant mosquito net over the country and Brazil will pay for it.
Miss Peeps: Whoa. Did you just come up with that or did you know Trump's secret plan all along?